Sunday, 2nd, July, 2017. 9:00pm.

I’m in another one of those bitchy moods, not sure if it’s because I’m out of smokes or if I am just in for one of those moody nights.

Again, this could be due to the fact that it is Sunday and I’m sitting in the living room by myself, watching tv on my own, I’m literally  just about always on my own.

Plus side, I am half watching The Princess Bride, switching between this movie and The Voice grand final. 

Anyways, back to me ranting about my bitchy mood.

So last year in November, a once close friend of mine, one of two who – at this point in time – were very close to me, had proven to me just how childish she is.

Getting straight to the point, she had chosen her boyfriend over her friends, didn’t give me the time of day, and admitted – a few months later – she didn’t want to talk to me and didn’t want anything to do with me.

But let’s take it back a few years, I’m going to do my best to not go over the top in detail about her love life, but anyways she had been seeing her current boyfriend and another guy. She wanted to take things further after almost 6 months of leading on them both, she wanted to take things further with the other guy. This guy came with a lot of baggage and as a good friend I did what I could to let her know that she was thinking with her vagina and not her heart or brain.

Long story short she got with the other guy, they are complete opposites (not that there is anything wrong with it). 

The way I see it when it comes to a close friend, you’ve got to at least get along with the boyfriend or get to know him at least. This guy was impossible to get to know, I eventually let it go because she was happy so whatever, still continued to try and get to know him, it was impossible.

Along the way though, she had considered breaking up with him, more than once actually but came up with a new excuse, Christmas, NYE, Valentine’s Day, Easter. It was something new every fucking time and I was getting sick of it, because she would say she loved him, but really was continuing to lead him on.

I wasn’t jealous or anything, I was pissed she was leading on a guy like this, and because he seemed so oblivious to this side of her.

I had seen a lot of sides from her. From her begging me to come along so she could get off, inside the house whilst me and my cousin waited outside in the freezing cold.

Then there were times when she had let’s plan something, let’s go do something, followed by her cancelling, only for us to run into her at the movies with a guy. Beyond pissed at that point.

There’s been too many times where she chose dick over her chicks, and that’s what pisses me off the most. Do what your want in your love life, but don’t fucking lie to my fucking face and think I will accept it whole-heartedly. I ain’t that easy like you bitch.

Which leads us to the present, November 2016, she’s close with my grandparents, which is fine, her parents were close with them at this point too. 

The day before my Nanna’s 70th birthday, she turns around and asks me if her boyfriend can come along, I was like ‘what the fuck? Literally the day before you’re asking me if you’re boyfriend can come along”. Now, I’m sure at some point I would’ve mentioned it to her, cause I was getting annoyed with how things were playing out, but I’m sure I told her that there was a guest list, it’s at a fucking restaurant, you think there’s going to be a guest list. But she thinks, nah, it’s alright, he can come along, it’s going to be no issue.

I told her no.

Straight up. No.

She couldn’t invite whoever she wanted last minute, especially her boyfriend (her main reason for inviting him was because she wanted to introduce him to my grandparents, bitch please).

She took that to heart, her parents were threatening to not come, as if it was THEIR boyfriend, pinning the blame on me, not my fault you’re fucking daughter is a dim-witted idiot.

Eventually I got my dad on the phone, he rang up her parents, said he’s more than welcome to come along, to appease to them, cause I didn’t give a fuck.

Anyways, they weren’t happy, her parents were glaring at me, I could feel lasers shooting from her mums eyes directly aiming for me. But I didn’t care, I for the first time in many years had my family surrounding me. 

A few weeks later I tried to sort things out with her, or at least hear back from her, but nothing. She didn’t want to, came up with excuses, seeing her boyfriend, blah blah blah.

I was going to visit my family, I tried before then, and nothing.

Then when I get back, 3-4 months later, I told her let’s talk.

This talk consisted of her defending her boyfriend, saying how she had to come up with an excuse and had lie to him because of how it played out. 

Uhm, bitch.

No, YOU chose to lie to him, you could’ve taken the blame and said that it was your fault for asking last minute, but because she didn’t want to have to take the blame, she said we were heading to a club later and he doesn’t like the music we’d go out and listen to when clubbing so she told him that – or so she did tell me anyways.

A whole lot of shit was said during this, but I had been over this shit a long time ago, before I had left to visit family, I get over shit very quickly, especially things petty such as that.

But she couldn’t get over it, she held that grudge right to where we’re at right now.

The last time we met up, it was to the movies, it was good, we talked and shit, didn’t feel exactly the same, because she didn’t ‘trust’ me enough (as she had pointed out during our talk). But it wasn’t the same, and I knew deep down, it wouldn’t ever be the same again, because someone would just hold a grudge.

I said bye to her, but I told her, let me know when you’re free next.

I hadn’t heard from her, but my phone broke at one point, told her best to message me through snapchat.

And that had literally been the last time I heard from her.

To sum it up though, I have learnt who my true friends are, I’ve learnt who is actually there for me, and will stick through the bad and really fucking ugly with me,

For too long i had let her treat me like shit, just because I didn’t want to lose her, I didn’t want to let go of our probably…7 or so years friendship.

It just pisses me off that people won’t give me the time of day, at least let me explain my side of the story.

So yeah, I may be pissed off about how things turned off, but I don’t regret it, because even though I lost a really good friend, I gained a better sense of who I was as a person.

I would remind myself that she lost a really good friend, one who stood up for her, one who told her straight when she was being an idiot, one who actually was a decent person.

But none of that seemed to matter more than her boyfriend of two or three years, she chose dick over chicks, so I chose to cut all ties.

And here we are, a few months after the last time I spoke to her, and I’m feeling a lot better after ranting, a pack of cigarettes would go down better, but again, I’m broke.

But that’s another matter to discuss another time.

That’s all for tonight.

💁🏻

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